This debate was kicked off again today.. so okay, ONE. MORE. TIME. FOR. THE. PEOPLE. AT. THE. BACK…
Parent and child spaces don’t exist because parents are entitled/lazy. They exist so a parent can get their kid out of their car safely, without reducing the car next to them to scrap.
And they are placed near the store because in, a civilised society, most of us agree that it’s a good thing to reduce the risk of children running around the modern busy car park like its fucking Chessington World Of Adventures.
I realise for some this is complicated..
1. “Rubbish, we didn’t have parent and baby spaces back in my day… ”
…This is an odd point of view given that that argument can also be made for antibiotics, women’s voting rights, the combustion engine, indoor plumbing, space travel, Luther, opposable thumbs, monster munch and shoes.
Oh yeah, and the internet.. a place where you can share your shit opinion and have it demolished by anyone whose brain receives oxygen.
2. “But, in my day, we managed..”
…I’m sure you did, when cars were fewer, cars were smaller, spaces were larger, and you could get a bottle of ginger beer and a caramac and still have half a crown left to buy some johnnies. Look, times have changed. Not least because we now have something called ‘Health and Safety’ which means Isofix, and car-seats the size of a fucking armchair.
So you can be nostalgic for the good old days, when your children didn’t even have to wear seatbelts, but those days are gone.. It’s partly the reason why there are more of these kids making it to adulthood, actually, Barbara.
3. “But disabled spaces are more important”.
Yes. Of course they are. Nobody is saying otherwise. But its not either/or is it?
4. “Why should those who ‘breed’ get benefits that I don’t. Whinge whinge. etc.”
Look,.. people have all kinds of benefits that you don’t.. low blood pressure and some fucking empathy for a start.
And.. even if you don’t have kids the chances are you were one once. It’s True. Two people in the dim past made the monumental mistake of combining their DNA and creating someone as selfish and small-minded as you. So stop being a cock about something that keeps the next generation a little bit safer and maybe, god forbid, makes someone else’s day a little bit easier. Because, it doesn’t really affect you does it, you massive dick.
Hope that clears that up… Now can we all just get along?
Man vs Baby’s Matt Coyne is from Sheffield, South Yorkshire. In September 2015, Matt’s life was turned upside down by the arrival of his son Charlie. After three months of parenthood, he logged on to social media and wrote a viral post about his experience of having to live with ‘a furious, sleep-murdering, unstable and incontinent, breasts-obsessed midget lodger’.
Following this, Matt created Man vs Baby, which now has over 360,000 followers. And has written two Sunday Times bestselling books based on his parental triumphs and disasters, the first entitled: ‘Dummy’ and the second ‘Man vs Toddler’.
He has also written for The Guardian, The Telegraph and GQ Magazine.
Matt lives in Sheffield with his son Charlie, his partner Lyndsay and a Jack Russell terrier with ‘issues’ called Eddie.