Another day, another parent-friendly coffee shop…

Coffee Shop and Babies

– Could I have a cup of hot water please? I just want to warm the baby’s food.

– No. We can’t let you have a cup of hot water.

– Really, why not?

– It’s Health and Safety.

– mm. But I’ve just bought 2 cups of tea from here and they were the same temperature as the Earth’s core.

– And?

– Well, the only difference between those cups of tea and a cup of hot water is that the tea cost £2.50 and its brown.

– Sorry, we still can’t give you a cup of hot water. It’s Health and Safety. Can I get you anything else?

– Yes, could I get another cup of tea please?

– Certainly, How would you like it?

– Er. I’ll take it with no milk, no sugar, and no teabag please.

[*Blank expression*]
– But, …that would be a cup of hot water.

– Now you’re catching on.

– We can’t serve you that.

– Why not?

-It’s Health and Safety.

….And, in the distance, over on table 12, a hungry baby wept bitterly.. as it realised that it had joined the human race and it was a race full of dead-eyed twonks.

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