{"id":112,"date":"2017-02-25T13:04:10","date_gmt":"2017-02-25T13:04:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.man-vs-baby.co.uk\/?p=112"},"modified":"2020-12-04T14:03:05","modified_gmt":"2020-12-04T14:03:05","slug":"baby-fingernailsclaws","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.man-vs-baby.co.uk\/?p=112","title":{"rendered":"Baby Fingernails\/Claws"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You know how fast Wolverine deploys his claws.. ? That&#8217;s basically the same speed a baby&#8217;s fingernails grow.<\/p>\n<p>You can cut them, file them, angle-grind them..turn your back for 5 minutes, turn back again.. and there he is.. Edward Scissorhands, lying in his cot, ..raking his own face again, until he looks like one of the cenobites from Hellraiser.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m sure our Health visitor thinks that in between her visits we enter him into underground knife-fights. every time she asks how things are going and we reply that everything&#8217;s fine.. I&#8217;m just waiting for her to follow up with &#8220;really,? So, how come he looks like you&#8217;ve locked him in a cupboard with a fucking puma?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>(please, don&#8217;t suggest the answer is scratch mitts.. there&#8217;s more chance of keeping a pair of sunglasses on Voldemort)<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/manversusbaby\/\">www.facebook.com\/manversusbaby\/<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You know how fast Wolverine deploys his claws.. ? That&#8217;s basically the same speed a baby&#8217;s fingernails grow. You can cut them, file them, angle-grind them..turn your back for 5 minutes, turn back again.. and there he is.. Edward Scissorhands, lying in his cot, ..raking his own face again, until he looks like one of the cenobites from Hellraiser. I&#8217;m sure our Health visitor thinks that in between her visits<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":114,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[39,35,43,1],"tags":[6,9,8,10,59,11,52,7],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.man-vs-baby.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.man-vs-baby.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.man-vs-baby.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.man-vs-baby.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.man-vs-baby.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=112"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.man-vs-baby.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":117,"href":"https:\/\/www.man-vs-baby.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112\/revisions\/117"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.man-vs-baby.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/114"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.man-vs-baby.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=112"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.man-vs-baby.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=112"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.man-vs-baby.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=112"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}