– Could I have a cup of hot water please? I just want to warm the baby’s food.
– No. We can’t let you have a cup of hot water.
– Really, why not?
– It’s Health and Safety.
– mm. But I’ve just bought 2 cups of tea from here and they were the same temperature as the Earth’s core.
– Well, the only difference between those cups of tea and a cup of hot water is that the tea cost £2.50 and its brown.
– Sorry, we still can’t give you a cup of hot water. It’s Health and Safety. Can I get you anything else?
– Yes, could I get another cup of tea please?
– Certainly, How would you like it?
– Er. I’ll take it with no milk, no sugar, and no teabag please.
– But, …that would be a cup of hot water.
– Now you’re catching on.
– We can’t serve you that.
– Why not?
-It’s Health and Safety.
….And, in the distance, over on table 12, a hungry baby wept bitterly.. as it realised that it had joined the human race and it was a race full of dead-eyed twonks.